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1. Jupiter

i wrote it down in the winter of 1610.
just a secret under lock and key until then.
while collecting the stars, i connected the dots.
i don’t know who i am, but now i know who i’m not.
i’m just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit.
like a magnet it beckoned my metals toward it.

make my messes matter.
make this chaos count.
let every little fracture in me
shatter out loud.

make my messes matter.
make this chaos count.
let every little fracture in me
shatter out loud.

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2. Saturn

you taught me the courage of stars before you left.
how light carries on endlessly, even after death.
with shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.
how rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

i couldn’t help but ask
for you to say it all again.
i tried to write it down
but i could never find a pen.
i’d give anything to hear
you say it one more time,
that the universe was made
just to be seen by my eyes.

i couldn’t help but ask
for you to say it all again.
i tried to write it down
but i could never find a pen.
i’d give anything to hear
you say it one more time,
that the universe was made
just to be seen by my eyes.

with shortness of breath, i’ll explain the infinite-
how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.

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3. Uranus

(Instrumental)

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4. Neptune

pitch black, pale blue,
it was a stained glass
variation of the truth
and i felt empty handed.

you let me set sail
with cheap wood.
so i patched up
every leak that i could,
’til the blame grew too heavy.

stitch by stitch i tear apart.
if brokenness is a form of art,
i must be a poster child prodigy.
thread by thread i come apart.
if brokenness is a work of art,
surely this must be my masterpiece.

i’m only honest when it rains.
if i time it right, the thunder breaks
when i open my mouth.
i want to tell you but i don’t know how.

i’m only honest when it rains,
an open book with a torn out page,
and my ink’s run out.
i want to love you but i don’t know how.

i don’t know how,
no i don’t know how.
i don’t know how.
i want to love you but i don’t know how.

i want to love you…

pitch black, pale blue,
these wild oceans
shake what’s left of me loose
just to hear me cry mercy.

a strong wind at my back,
so i lift up the only sail that i have,
this tired white flag.

i’m only honest when it rains.
if i time it right, the thunder breaks
when i open my mouth.
i want to tell you but i don’t know how.

i’m only honest when it rains,
an open book with a torn out page,
and my ink’s run out.
i want to love you but i don’t know how.

i don’t know how, know how, know how,
i want to love you but i don’t know how.

i want to love you…

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5. Pluto

i woke up from the same dream:
falling backwards, falling backwards
’til it turned me inside out.

now i live a waking life
of looking backwards, looking backwards;
a model citizen of doubt.

until one day i had enough
of this exercise of trust.
i leaned in and let it hurt,
and let my body feel the dirt.
when i break pattern, i break ground.
i rebuild when i break down.
i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.

still i’m pinned under the weight
of what i believed would keep me safe.
so show me where my armor ends,
show me where my skin begins.
like a final puzzle piece
it all makes perfect sense to me…
the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
the heaviness that i hold in my heart’s been crushing me.

i’ve been worried all my life,
a nervous wreck most of the time.
i’ve always been afraid of heights,
of falling backwards, falling backwards.
i’ve been worried all my life.

’til one day i had enough
of this exercise of trust.
i leaned in and let it hurt,
let my body feel the dirt.
when i break pattern, i break ground.
i rebuild when i break down.
i wake up more awake than i’ve ever been before.

still i’m pinned under the weight
of what i believed would keep me safe.
so show me where my armor ends,
show me where my skin begins.
like a final puzzle piece,
it all makes perfect sense to me…
the heaviness that i hold in my heart belongs to gravity.
the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity.