"Hit or Miss" & how it was made.

"hit or miss" is the middle track on the july ep (itunes) in the yearbook series. i think i've proclaimed this before, but (unfortunately for those closest to me) i am a very impatient person. no matter how hard i try, i am just not a fan of waiting for things.

the opening lyric, "hurry, hurry up and wait" is the heart of this song. in the middle of yearbook, that concept was at constant play in my head. i would rush, rush, rush to meet the monthly deadlines and when i finally hit the finish line, as soon as each song left my hands, i'd have to do more waiting. so even though the whole idea of yearbook was born in the spirit of impatience, making the gap between writing, recording and releasing disappear, i was still impatient with the whole thing. so i wrote this song to remind me to cool it.

musically, a lot of this song's shape and heart was written several years before this song became a song, in a hotel of all places. a while back i got a new keyboard, and as is tradition with each new instrument i buy, i write something and play around with recording it with no aim, aside from seeing what i'm capable of doing with this thing. so while on tour way back when, i spent an evening in my hotel room messing around with my new gadget. usually those try-out-my-new-toy recordings don't turn into anything more than a bit of fun, but i always liked these particular little odd melodies. so i kept this song on the back burner until it made sense within one of my projects... yearbook felt like a perfect fit for this sort of exploration.

once i decided this piece of music belongs on this ep, i decided to approach this song without any specific intentions aside from having a lot of fun playing around further with it, keeping it in the spirit in which it was written. in most cases, i have a very clear picture of how i want a song to end up and exactly what i want it to say, so i really enjoyed a less pressured approach for this one.

musically, i liked the idea of taking some of those descending sparkly melodies and have different instruments take turns playing them. bells turn into wurlitzer turns into banjo, turns into several other types of keyboard sounds. instrument evolution of sorts.

lyrics... as i mentioned, are all about me venting my impatience, while pretending that i appreciate the importance of patience. (i do, of course... it's a virtue after all, but just not my favorite one...) this song is obviously very much about time.

i liked the idea of expressing patience (and impatience) through a lot of common expressions, like:

"a watched kettle never boils, a watched tree never grows"

"hit or miss"

"may we reap all that we sow"

i'm not sure why, but i generally tend to like the use of idioms in songs. there's a familiarity i suppose that i like when in contrast with (hopefully) new ideas. so for this song, i wanted to include as many as i can. it was a lot of fun to make those odd little connections.

"much too tired to try, much too stubborn to quit."

that lyric always kicks me in the butt in the right way. i find myself feeling like that, often. a state of limbo. that lyric is a good reminder and overview of the ridiculousness of letting myself remain in that place.

on a visual level, i was really excited when this line came about...

"every cloud above's full of splattered paint"

it has two meanings: on a totally surface level, i just liked the idea of there being clouds above us that are full of multicolored paint. and the actual meaning behind the line is probably obvious: rain is what gives our world life = color. when a line works on both levels, intent and surface visual, it makes me super happy. so i was grateful when that little line appeared.

overall, "hit or miss" was such a fun song to write! because of the less pressured approach and lyrically it's a lot of me venting and discussing my obsession and struggle with patience, it was quite enjoyable to write.

total side note: as i mentioned in the "wilderness: how it was made" blog post, i aimed to make that song in the vein of some of my older material from my "ghosts" album... i aimed to make this song have some instrumentation similarities to music on my "keep no score" album, AND on the next song of this ep, "aperture" i built it similar to songs on my "storyboard" record (when i began writing and recording my ukulele) so there's a fun little sleeping at last history concept at play on this july ep.

thanks for reading!

much love, ryan

click here to read other "how it was made" blog posts!

listen: (why does that have the wrong artwork? no clue.)

lyrics:

HIT OR MISS

hurry, hurry up and waitis how the waiting game is played.a thousand moving parts keep scoreinside the watch we can’t ignore.

so let’s hurry, let’s hurry up and wait.

much too tired to try,much too stubborn to quit,on an island in betweenthe coasts of hit or miss.are we settlers or are we natives of this land?only time will tellon which pedestal we were meant to stand.

so let’s hurry, let’s hurry up and wait.so let’s hurry, let’s hurry, hurry up and wait.

every cloud above’s full of splattered paint,every seed below lies patiently in wait.but a watched kettle never boils,a watched tree never grows.may we have our tea in the forest,may we reap all that we sow.

so let’s hurry, so let’s hurry, hurry up, hurry up and wait.so let’s hurry, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up and wait.

"Wilderness" & how it was made.

"wilderness" is the opening track of the "july" EP in the "yearbook" series. this song is a bit of a time capsule.. while working on writing yearbook, i knew that at some point in the project, i wanted to return to my young roots as a songwriter and write a song that would have fit in stylistically with my older albums, like "ghosts" or "keep no score." as i was playing around with different ideas in that vein, i remembered a demo i had made sometime around my "ghosts" album in 2003. at the time, i got distracted with the songs that made it onto that record, that i never had time to finish it. when my next record "keep no score" was being put together, it didn't have a home there either, so it was left unfinished.

so i brushed away the cob webs on this song and i was so excited to have new ears for it because the entire direction and concept suddenly made perfect sense to me, and was exactly what i was hoping to achieve with a song inspired by my musical past.

the music in that old demo, was fairly arranged musically.. but the lyrics and vocal melodies weren't working.. and though there was a general arrangement in the song, it had some holes there too. so i went to work right away and discovered all sorts of directions and ideas that i would have never thought to try back in 2003 when it was first demoed. it was so fun to hear those old sounds in tandem with my new, current sounds and ideas.

i ended up keeping several of the recorded elements from the original demo in the end - some of the electric guitars remain, a few little keyboard bits, etc. but i knew that a key instrument here would be drums. so i called up my good friend, jacob marshall (mae), and invited him to be a part. he kindly accepted and with engineer help from mark padgett (mae) jacob recorded his drums in NC and it sounded fantastic right out of the gate. was so pleased!

lyrics for this song were tough to write. if i remember correctly, i caught a pretty bad flu virus right around the time of writing these words… so the process was a little slower than other yearbook songs. i wrote this song about my new little niece, who was born shortly after this song's release.

these words are about the sacredness of new life. about the importance of welcoming it into our world. in spite of how wild and broken life has made us, as adults. this brand-new, fragile, beautiful life rests on the shoulders of that overgrown wilderness in us. in this song i wanted to examine the contrast of new life being entirely helpless and delicate, and some how is entirely dependent on the selfish, rough edged, dangerous world we call home.

when i write "dear wilderness" - i am talking directly to the parent, who represents the most important the role in that little ones' new life.

all in all, i really enjoyed writing this song (in spite of getting the flu in the middle of it!) - it was incredibly fun to visit the past for a bit! feels good to pick up that electric guitar from time to time.. on my next project, perhaps you'll hear a little more of that sort of thing. we'll see.

much love, ryan

listen:

lyrics:

WILDERNESS

dear wilderness, be at your best. her armor is thin as the fabric of her dress. i know the rules: the weaker trees bend. but make her immune when your temper storms in.

when she gains her balance, be as still as you can be. when she’s climbing branches, be the feathers underneath.

when she regains her balance, be as steady as she needs. when she trusts you blindly, be her worthy lock and key.

though it goes against every grain of your sand, like turning wolves into lambs, be your best for her, your best for her.

when she holds her balance, be as gentle as she needs. when she shines her brightest, let no dark cloud intervene.

"December" EP's 2nd Birthday!

wow! i can't believe it's already december. i think i say this every year, but 2012 has been the fastest year i've ever seen. is it possible for years to have variable speeds? if so, i nominate this one as the quickest yet!

though it only seems like a few months ago, exactly 2 years ago today, my "

december

" ep was released. since it was written, i've been working my way through writing blog posts about each of the 36 yearbook songs, and how they were made. to learn how each of the 3 "december" songs came to be, click on the titles:

1.

accidental light

2.

from the ground up

3.

snow

this particular EP features my first ever original Christmas song, "snow." when it was released, i asked you fine folks to send in video clips of winter/holidays near you.. and we got videos sent from around the world, which turned into the community-made "snow" music video. i thought today, on the birthday of the "december" ep, it'd post it for those of you that haven't yet seen it! this fun video project was made possible by wonderful friend of mine named

bob davidson

, who helped me out in compiling all of these videos together.

(side note: there will be many more projects like this, requesting contributions from you, in the very near future! can't wait! lots of fun ideas to come!)

i hope your december is absolutely wonderful!! thanks so much for listening and reading!! happy december.

much love, ryan

"Hourglass" & how it was made.

Hourglass & how it was made. "hourglass" is the 3rd, final track of the June "Yearbook" EP.

this song came together very quickly in the writing process (something i'm always grateful for!).. but it ended up being one of the hardest songs to record in the entire 36-song yearbook project! as soon as the song was finished being written, and i pressed the record button, it had 'troublemaker' written all over it. but as i listen now, i believe the struggle in recording this song is actually what makes it work. the song itself is about struggle... about coping after unimaginable loss, so i suppose it makes sense that it needed to be a challenge.

this is the first song of mine that features the harp as a main instrument. i loved the idea of having such a heartbroken song be nearly entirely carried by the most angelic and heavenly instrument there is: harp. harpists being hard to come by, i asked a few friends if they new of anyone who might be interested in recording the parts i wrote. my good friend, ryan francesconi came through and suggested his californian friend, diana rowan. i reached out and she graciously accepted the invite and headed straight to a studio in her hometown to record her gorgeous performance. the first round was absolutely gorgeous, but i had forgotten to mention a few technical requests for the harp parts. diana was kind enough to head back into the studio right away to record again from scratch, with the updated parts. a few hours later, i received the perfect and beautiful performances you hear now. i was ecstatic! real, live harp, played beautifully by someone as gifted as diana rowan... is truly a treat!

i recorded the vocals right away, but it didn't feel quite right. sometimes when songs are brand-new, it takes a day or two to really get a handle on how the song should be sung. to adjust to the tempo, cadence and overall feel of the track. most of the time, it's a very quick process to feel all snug and fitting. but, as i said, this song needed to be a struggle in every part of the recording, so it took quite a bit longer. eventually, the melody and my voice made peace and got along quite well. after finishing up the vocal, i had the foundation.

when i wrote the first few chords of this song, i knew right away this was going to be a song about being entirely broken. about the heaviness grief. i often write about this subject, but when i do, it is usually scattered supporting different themes. for "hourglass" i wanted to stay there. not just mention grief, but write entirely from the perspective of someone experiencing it fully. this is a snapshot of the moments right after loss, and right before the funeral. it's the thought process of someone wrestling with the not only the weight of such loss and grief (losing someone so dear), but also at the same time, wrestling with the strangeness of all of traditions and rituals of a funeral (dressing up, greeting cards, keeping things together and civilized.. etc.)

the final lyric is the sliver of a silver lining, of clarity:

but i once heard honest words: 'though nothing may ever be the same, the heart keeps widening for change.'

that final lyric was tough to come by, but i was rather grateful when it arrived. i wanted to write a song about grief, but at the end of such a song, i was getting worried that this song was going to collapse under the weight of all of that sadness!

after adding some layers of piano, electric guitar detailing, etc. the song was completed. it's a sad one, but i'm very proud of how it all came out. even if it was born out of struggle and grief.

love, ryan

listen:

lyrics:

HOURGLASS

we’re taking turns at shattering apart. at least we’re taking turns.

how did we get so good at dismantling these hearts? how did we ever get so good?

we dress our best to receive their sympathy. at our worst, we dress our best?

“time heals all” according to these greeting cards. oh how we’d rather time resets.

if we could turn the hourglass, we would. if we could move a grain of sand, we would. if we could find our way back, we would.

our minds keep spinning webs of question marks and of regrets. will our minds keep spinning webs?

i once heard honest words: “though nothing may ever be the same, the heart keeps widening for change.”

"Turning Page" & how it was made.

although "turning page" was not a part of my "yearbook" project, i wrote it right in the middle of working on my "june" yearbook ep, so as i make my way through all of these yearbook "how it was made" blog posts, it feels appropriate to write about this song now, in the sequence in which it was written. i had never seen any of the twilight films previously, or read any of the books, but i have always loved the twilight soundtracks. thom yorke, bon iver/st. vincent, grizzly bear, iron and wine? come on. they always have incredible, exclusive music and i always looked forward to hearing who was going to be on it next. in the back of my head i thought it'd sure be amazing to be a part of that incredible list of musicians myself, but for whatever reason (more than likely the fear of not making it in!), i didn't submit anything.

in a random conversation early 2011, a close friend of mine gave me the nudge that i needed, suggesting that perhaps i should try to write something for the new twilight movie. a few months later, i sat down and gave it a shot and wrote "turning page," my submission for the twilight saga: breaking dawn - part 1.

but before i began writing "turning page" i bought all 3 twilight films on iTunes and watched them for the first time, back to back. after taking it all in, i did a little research on what was to come next in the story. it was obvious that the wedding would be up next, and in essence, the entire twilight saga is, at it's heart, a love story. so, i decided to write a love song.

i set up my ipad on my piano and let a couple scenes from "eclipse" play over and over on mute while i played piano over it, to see what worked, what felt right. within an hour or two or playing around, i found the beginning chords of "turning page." i was looking for something with a sweet tone, but also with a touch of somber in it too. (after all, it is a vampire love story!) when i played/found those first few chords of the song, it felt like the right direction so i moved forward with it.

lyrically, my goal was to subtly include some visuals inspired by the films but at the same time, write a love song that meant something to me first and foremost.

"i've waited a hundred years, but i'd wait a million more for you"

in a literal twilight translation, the character "edward" is over 100 years old in the story, so i liked the nod to that... and this lyric sets the tone of the song being written from his edward's perspective. unrelated to twilight, i really liked the idea of the extremity and exaggeration of waiting "a hundred years" for someone... when you're in love, nothing is too dramatic or overstated.

sidetrack: funny story behind that lyric "a hundred years"... my original submission title for "turning page" was actually "a hundred years." why is that funny? well, because christina perri's absolutely gorgeous single, from the same soundtrack is titled "a thousand years." crazy, crazy coincidence... a little while before the film released i got a phone call asking if i'd consider a different title because there was another artist on the soundtrack that had nearly the same title... so i came up with a few more title ideas and landed on "turning page." to make things even more bizarre/coincidental... remember the friend i mentioned who gave me the nudge to try and submit something for the film? well, his name is david hodges and he co-wrote christina perri's "a thousand years"! so not only was it absurdly crazy that we both talked about the idea of having music on breaking dawn, and both ended up getting a song on it, BUT we both named our songs nearly identical to eachother's without ever having a clue. crazy. i suppose great minds think alike? ;)

back to the lyrics...

it's easy to write love songs. that's in part why there are 100 trillion of them in existence right now. but i knew that "turning page" shouldn't just be a collection of pretty words... i had to really mean it. so having gotten married just a year prior to writing this song, i had a well of inspiration to draw from that made this song very personal to me. i knew i wanted to try to write something with the breaking dawn wedding in mind, so i went back to my well and went through my wedding pictures.. and little ideas started coming together that hit both marks: personal to me and my own love story, and made sense within twilight's epic love story. example:

"your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase."

on the theme of books: i liked the nod to the twilight books series... and as i did my research to write this song, i was constantly cracking open the twilight books. and since this song is essentially a love story, i liked the idea of highlighting the importance of story. on a more personal level, my wife is a very talented writer and for her whole life has been in love with books. so i really loved the idea of pulling in the theme of books/story in the visuals of this song.

musically, this was so much fun to piece together. i knew pretty quickly after writing the base (piano) for the song that it needed to be a mixture of very intimate sounds and also, swelling and climactic sounds (twilight is a blockbuster after all!) so i decided early on that i really liked the idea of this song being less traditional in it's structure... there aren't really obvious verses and choruses per se, it's more of an evolving, unfolding piece of music. its tempo slows down, speeds up and each part always leads to something a little different than the part before. that allowed me to make some sections of the song more intimate and sweet, and others more swelling and driving. it was a fun way to work.. that approach made it feel a little more film-score-y than pop song-y.

after recording the foundational piano and voice, i went on to add layer after layer... percussion, guitars, banjos, background vocals, etc. it was so fun to play around with... especially since the song is always changing a little, it was neat to add little detailing along the way.

i knew i wanted strings to play a big role here. so sat down for a day or two and chiseled away at the string arrangement. i called up an ultra-gifted friend of mine, laura musten and asked if she'd be kind enough to perform, embellish and record the violins for this song. within a few days she sent back the most gorgeous performances ever and i couldn't have been more pleased. she performed and recorded all of the violins herself and it turned out so amazingly... (side note: laura performed much of the strings on "yearbook" as well! she's a-mazing.)

then i asked my best pal, dan perdue to play bass, which he did brilliantly. i've said it before and i'll say it again, dan's my favorite bassist of all time.

then, lastly, but certainly not leastly, i invited another of my closest pals, jeremy larson to play cello. i sent him the simple cello arrangement i wrote, and in typical jeremy larson fashion, it was finished in no time at all and was flawless. the cello was the final piece to the musical puzzle.

i sent the song off to seattle to be mixed by the phenomenal mixer (and human being), john goodmanson. as usual, he hit it out of the park right away. (even as i'm typing this, i'm just amazed at the privilege of getting to work with such talented folks. seriously honored.)

after all of that, i sent the song down to my publishers who in turn sent it down, along with thousands of other of hopeful twilight submissions, to the music folks at twilight. that was spring of 2011... a whole season went by and i didn't hear a peep. late summer, about 2 months before the film's release i got an incredible phone call, informing me that the song would indeed be a part of the film. twice! i didn't know exactly where or how, but i knew it'd play as an instrumental and then again as the vocal version. my mind was blown. i was working on the last (of 12) "yearbook" Eps and i couldn't have hoped for better news.

close to when the film released, i had the incredible privilege of being invited to be a part of a mini twilight-tour with a couple of the other artists on the soundtrack (aqualung and lucy schwartz), as well as some of the actors from the film. it was so so much fun. my good friend matt mugford, came with me and played guitar like the pro he is - i consider that short period of time one of the most fun experiences i've ever had. (side note: we got to travel in a private plane, along with the twilight actors... so absurd and awesome.)

then, i had the incredible honor of attending the hollywood premiere... never in a million years would i have thought to be asking folks to teach me red carpet etiquette! i got through that the best i knew how... surreal. then, we all sat down inside the nokia theater to watch the film for the very first time. i was absolutely blown away by the placements given to my song... the instrumental played in it's near entirety as "bella" walked down the aisle to marry "edward." and then, on a more steamy note, the song replays, this time with vocals (again nearly in it's entirety!) as bella and edward... well... enjoy their honeymoon. ha. i couldn't believe it! often times, if your song gets the be a part of a film or tv show, it's very much background music, so you can never know how it will turn out until you see it for the first time. and for twilight, i was just utterly blown away. so so very privileged to be a part.

this post is getting quite long, so i'll wrap it up here... all that to say, i so enjoyed writing "turning page" and never imagined that it would have the life that it has. i am so grateful to the folks at twilight who let this song be a part of their film, and to each of the many folks whom have let this song be a part of their lives, to those who record cover versions on youtube, to the lovely folks who played it at countless weddings, and more recently to the kind people at "so you think you can dance" for letting it be a part of such beautiful choreography twice in the 2012 season. to see the ways in which people have allowed this song into their world is absolutely overwhelming and means so very much to me. i am beyond privileged.

thanks so much for reading!

much love, ryan

listen:

listen (live):

lyrics:

Turning Page

Written by: Ryan O’Neal

i’ve waited a hundred years.but i’d wait a million more for you.nothing prepared me forwhat the privilege of being yours would do.

if i had only felt the warmth within your touch,if i had only seen how you smile when you blush,or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough,i would have known what i was living for all along.what i’ve been living for.

your love is my turning page,where only the sweetest words remain.every kiss is a cursive line,every touch is a redefining phrase.

i surrender who i’ve been for who you are,for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.if i had only felt how it feels to be yours,well, i would have known what I’ve been living for all along.what i’ve been living for.

though we’re tethered to the story we must tell,when i saw you, well, i knew we’d tell it well.with a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas.like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees.